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My name is Yaz.
I am young, single, eligible.
I'm a fencer, a student, visionary.
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Ngee Ann Fencing

Sunday, January 14, 2007
You know why can't you do something you enjoy. And why can't you dislike pizza with loads of vegetables?

I have a fencing competition today and my mom had to rant on how I never studied for my test, how tired I am and how I am not suppose to go out on Sundays. I told her before 2 months earlier that I'll be having a very important competition on 2 Sundays and I need 2 Sundays to fence. What did she say? I didn't consult her on the day.

And she's nagging that I'm fencing too much and not caring for my studies. Why the hell should I study when I can get 79.5 for my Accounts out of 100 without even touching my god damn book ? Expect me to do better. WTF? I'm only half a mark short of an A and you are still complaining?

Then she said don't go don't go. When I tell her I have 35 dollars entry fee and if I don't go I won't get it back, she says go go for the money. WTF? So money face. I've always despised money face people. She had to tell me at the 11th hour and I reached the place nearly late.

Then she says that I need to study more yadda yadda. But Wtf? she's always so busy with her crappy problems that I have to skip classes to cover for her and she's blaming my fencing? And what's wrong with fencing anyways. My bloody step dad leaves early in the morning, come home late at night drunk and complains about me to my mom and she actually listens? Fencing is exercise good for you. It's not good enough that I don't smoke and do drugs.

And what about my step sis. At least I don't study I get close to an A. Rather than her study also fails all subjects but 1. And it's PSLE year. Why complaining about me is it? Hate me so much just kill me now lah.

Yes I'm quiting fencing and may never go back to foil. Hope to get to epee classes on saturday so I can actually fence and not be disturb.

I mean if you don't like sports don't bother me. I enjoy fencing. It's my only escape from home. At home I have 2 siblings to take care of 1 is 7 months the other reaching 2. How the hell do I know how to take care of babies I ask you? Stop blaming me if I always do things wrong because I don't know how to take care of babies. Stupid step dad says keep volume down and I'm trying to discipline the big toddler.

And what stop fencing and what go mad?

And what's this that my fencing affects my studies? I wasn't even fencing at the time I was about to take my POA paper for a month. I was so busy running your stupid errands that I can't study. And so what if I'm sick? You still can send me to FairPrice when I'm so tired from a test to bring home what 2 kgs of rice and other goods? Still can fence rite like that.

Fuck the world. I really want my own place soon, but I really can't afford it. Sick of my stupid step dad complaining about me when his own daughter hardly is any good either. And why must I carry the burden of my house alone on my shoulder? I 've got an 11 year old step sis? Why must I do everything my self!!!! It's not fair!!!!

Fuck the world. When I heard I couldn't go novices I wanted to kill my self. Spent the last 2-3 months preparing for it.

Lost in the Direct Elimination to someone ranked 20. I was ranked 45. Can't blame me, my nose was stuffed. Close match though, I lost 14-15. That bastard was pretty arrogant. And all his remises were seen as a parry reposte when It's supposed to be my beat attack. Fuck.


yaz [ 5:02 PM ]

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